Its been almost 2 months since my last blog entry! Its as if it centuries ago.. So damn many things happened. My life changes from up to down. Life always seems so simple but for the last 2 months ifeel so vulnerable. Its as if im so small and weak that i can't change anything in the world. I can't control my life or help myself.. I am weakling! Im so so so weak..
Well what really happens is... I got my O level results and happily wanted to apply for a poly course i like.. I got 16 for L1R4 and 19 for L1R5. Lets see i got C6 for Eng, A2 for POA, A2 for Mother tongue, B3 for Mathematics, B3 for Combine Sci & B3 for combine Humanities. I thought 16 for R4 is average and should not be a problemfor me to get a place in a poly. So i apply for Temasek Polytechnic thru DAE. & Temasek polyis the only poly i applied! Reason: i thought TP is enough and my dream is TP! So theres 3 choices. I put first Leisure and Resort managment, followed by Visual communication and lastly is Accounting and Finance. Result out i am not abletoget into any courses cause the cut off pointis high for all three courses. So immediately i went to appeal in TP( i called other polys but they say i cannot apply due to waiting list is for those who apply thru DAE eariler on)! Anyway i appealed for lots of courses and courses thatithink is easiler to get in! But result out, i still failed! At that moment i immediately call TP but the idiotic customer service girl dun listen to my explanation and just ask me to apply next year! What i have to wait for a yr to try again?? At that moment my world came crashing down.. I feel that the sky is falling. I feel really low and feel like im the worst and most pitiful person! Cried like no body business, and moreover at that moment i got another serious problem waiting for me to deal with, a problemi must solve immediately! At that moment i got no people around me who can help me out or even console me! I only get scoldings from my parents, they just nag at me all day long, asif nagging helps! Still i have to face others saying that i got no poly to go to, and some teasing from my friends.. Feel so so so damn down! Feel like im living alone in the world.Withno one around me who could help! Thought that its better if i die,everything could be solve. Need not face so many challenges in future! Need not cry alone in my room and hear ppl nag! Need not explain myself to others and hear them tease me! Why? why i am solow in my luck? I keep trying to cheer myself up and think that everything is alright! BUT my parents keep reminding me and make me keep crying non stop. I know they feel sad too.. I know they are concern too.. But why can't i have peace.. Now i applied to study private diploma in Mass Communication at MDIS.. Found a job and will be working and studying!! Now i just leave peacfully and happily. Hope i achieve better things in year 2006, hope i can achieve more then whati should! I pray hard and hope im bless with lots of love!